It is widely believed that Sumit Agarwal and Sumit Chaturvedi, champions of an anonymous group that is led by a highly intellectual and revered saint, represent the two most contrasting events of India in twentieth century: Green Revolution and Great Famine of Bengal. Needless to say, in that order. During the time of green revolution, it is said, when Lal Bahadur Shashtri, the then Prime Minister of India, was ordering his ministers to increase the food reserve, the former Sumit stored it in his stomach. The result you can deduce by measuring the proportion of the area he has taken in the above pic. Attributing the nickname 'Sumo' seems just prefect for him. The latter Sumit, famously known as Diode for some unknown reason(citation required), brings back the memories of poor-Indian-hungry-Indian of pre-independence era. At the time of famine he was so much deprived of food that he lost the understanding of appetite. The only thing that keeps him alive is thirst - for alcohol, nicotine, sex, and some more alcohol.
The noted saint once said: "A common man in India can be recognized by his passion for three things : Bollywood, Cricket, and Religion." I don't know how did the Sumits take cricket and religion, but they are certainly influenced by Bollywood. Sumo had huge aspiration to become like Lara Singh, a famous wrestler and a bollywood actor. Taking full advantage of the green revolution when he was weighing more than hundred kilograms at the age of fifteen, he decided to fly to Mumbai to learn the art of wrestling from Lara Singh. Lara was in gymnasium when Sumo met him.
"So what do you want from me?" Lara asked, panting.
"I want to learn wrestling from you." Sumo replied with his head slightly down but looking straight into his eyes.
"Who told you to come here, I don't teach wrestling."
"I saw you teaching in a movie..."
"What the fuck! That was just a movie."
"But sir, please, my whole life depends upon it. I've been eating hard since green revolution to become a wrestler."
"Go to hell! I don't care about your green revolution! Ever since my son has married Fardaa, every other stupid has become interested in wrestling."
"I'll do whatever you say, sir, but please..."
"Rape yourself! Security, throw him out!"
Two security person came, glanced at Sumo's size, went back and returned with two more. They threw him without any mercy, without any sympathy.
It was shame and humiliation, disgust and pity. His dreams were crushed ruthlessly. To allay his suffering he went straight into a theater which was showing Vijay Path, starring Ajay Devgan and Tabbu. In this movie Ajay vows to wear goggles till he achieves his goal. "Lesson learnt", thought rejuvenated Sumo, "I'll also wear goggles till my revenge from Lara is complete." He hasn't removed the goggles since that avowal. In the pic he is seen in the same pair.
The goggles on Diode's eyes, however, have a dissimilar story; but, yes, it is linked to Bollywood. Hail the saint! As a result of famine, Diode was an ordinary skeleton with two hundred and eight bones, no heart, no blood, and no brain. God would have been absolutely merciless for him had there been no alcohol in the world. One day when he was drunk he put on pink sweater and goggles and headed towards a theater to watch the movie Monsoon Wedding. As he was entering the theater he observed that the crowd was watching him. First he thought that goggles and sweater didn't match his frail outlook, but he was alarmed when the crowd vehemently rushed towards him. He anxiously paced into the entrance but the crowed was faster than he had anticipated.
"P.K. Dubey ji, P.K. Dubey ji!" the crowd shouted with excitement.
"Nahi, nahi, hum P.K. Dubey nahi, hum to Chaturvedi hain" he responded in a voice too low to be heard in the frenzied crowd.
Diode didn't get time to make the crowd understand that he was not P.K. Dubey. Everybody approached him with the request for autograph. Initially he hesitated, but as fairer sex started approaching him he couldn't help acquiescing. In fact, once he understood that P.K. Dubey ji is a man of repute, he started enjoying his elevated status. I would like to remind the readers that P.K. Dubey ji was a character played by Vijay Raj in the movie Monsoon Wedding. Taking advantage of the resemblance of his appearance with Vijay Raj, Diode also managed to fix date with many girls. Gradually, dating, along with alcohol, became his lifeline. Unlike Sumo, Diode uses his goggles when needed, especially at the weakest hour of night.
The noted saint once said: "All well at the start doesn't mean all will end well; all ill at the start doesn't mean all will end ill." The first part of the saint's dictum holds true for Sumo, the second for Diode. Sumo fought hard to become a wrestler. He traveled to Europe and China to learn the art, but with growing age he got little support from his body. Finally he gave up and joined the saint who lives at the summit of a hill located in the northern part of India. However, he hasn't removed the goggles yet. I've learned that he'll remove them after Lara's demise. Diode's fortune has changed with goggles. Once he was fed up the Indian girls, he moved to Europe and America to date blond girls. I've learned that he has plans to use - misuse? - the goggles throughout his life. For livelihood, he has also joined the saint at summit. When I asked him about his marriage plan, he said:
"Arre bhai shadi wadi karne ki kya jarurat hai, aajkal to sab aise hi ho jaata hai."
The noted saint once said: "A common man in India can be recognized by his passion for three things : Bollywood, Cricket, and Religion." I don't know how did the Sumits take cricket and religion, but they are certainly influenced by Bollywood. Sumo had huge aspiration to become like Lara Singh, a famous wrestler and a bollywood actor. Taking full advantage of the green revolution when he was weighing more than hundred kilograms at the age of fifteen, he decided to fly to Mumbai to learn the art of wrestling from Lara Singh. Lara was in gymnasium when Sumo met him.
"So what do you want from me?" Lara asked, panting.
"I want to learn wrestling from you." Sumo replied with his head slightly down but looking straight into his eyes.
"Who told you to come here, I don't teach wrestling."
"I saw you teaching in a movie..."
"What the fuck! That was just a movie."
"But sir, please, my whole life depends upon it. I've been eating hard since green revolution to become a wrestler."
"Go to hell! I don't care about your green revolution! Ever since my son has married Fardaa, every other stupid has become interested in wrestling."
"I'll do whatever you say, sir, but please..."
"Rape yourself! Security, throw him out!"
Two security person came, glanced at Sumo's size, went back and returned with two more. They threw him without any mercy, without any sympathy.
It was shame and humiliation, disgust and pity. His dreams were crushed ruthlessly. To allay his suffering he went straight into a theater which was showing Vijay Path, starring Ajay Devgan and Tabbu. In this movie Ajay vows to wear goggles till he achieves his goal. "Lesson learnt", thought rejuvenated Sumo, "I'll also wear goggles till my revenge from Lara is complete." He hasn't removed the goggles since that avowal. In the pic he is seen in the same pair.
The goggles on Diode's eyes, however, have a dissimilar story; but, yes, it is linked to Bollywood. Hail the saint! As a result of famine, Diode was an ordinary skeleton with two hundred and eight bones, no heart, no blood, and no brain. God would have been absolutely merciless for him had there been no alcohol in the world. One day when he was drunk he put on pink sweater and goggles and headed towards a theater to watch the movie Monsoon Wedding. As he was entering the theater he observed that the crowd was watching him. First he thought that goggles and sweater didn't match his frail outlook, but he was alarmed when the crowd vehemently rushed towards him. He anxiously paced into the entrance but the crowed was faster than he had anticipated.
"P.K. Dubey ji, P.K. Dubey ji!" the crowd shouted with excitement.
"Nahi, nahi, hum P.K. Dubey nahi, hum to Chaturvedi hain" he responded in a voice too low to be heard in the frenzied crowd.
Diode didn't get time to make the crowd understand that he was not P.K. Dubey. Everybody approached him with the request for autograph. Initially he hesitated, but as fairer sex started approaching him he couldn't help acquiescing. In fact, once he understood that P.K. Dubey ji is a man of repute, he started enjoying his elevated status. I would like to remind the readers that P.K. Dubey ji was a character played by Vijay Raj in the movie Monsoon Wedding. Taking advantage of the resemblance of his appearance with Vijay Raj, Diode also managed to fix date with many girls. Gradually, dating, along with alcohol, became his lifeline. Unlike Sumo, Diode uses his goggles when needed, especially at the weakest hour of night.
The noted saint once said: "All well at the start doesn't mean all will end well; all ill at the start doesn't mean all will end ill." The first part of the saint's dictum holds true for Sumo, the second for Diode. Sumo fought hard to become a wrestler. He traveled to Europe and China to learn the art, but with growing age he got little support from his body. Finally he gave up and joined the saint who lives at the summit of a hill located in the northern part of India. However, he hasn't removed the goggles yet. I've learned that he'll remove them after Lara's demise. Diode's fortune has changed with goggles. Once he was fed up the Indian girls, he moved to Europe and America to date blond girls. I've learned that he has plans to use - misuse? - the goggles throughout his life. For livelihood, he has also joined the saint at summit. When I asked him about his marriage plan, he said:
"Arre bhai shadi wadi karne ki kya jarurat hai, aajkal to sab aise hi ho jaata hai."
2 comments:
Freaking Brilliant !!
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